2:30 p.m. - 2005-02-07
Oh, so much more bile!
Ok, here's some more enigmatic entry!! Hooray for enigmatic entries, where no one reading this has a clue what I am talking about!!
Do you know why it frosts my ass when someone very whinily tells me that they "don't have time" to do something that they really ought to do, and that I should just keep doing it??
Because first of all, it strongly implies that their stressful life and their precious time is way more important and worthy of consideration than my precious time and my stressful life. And that, my friends, is so freakin' rude I cannot even possibly tell you how badly I want to strangle people who say this to me. I really would like to strangle them and hang them up by their toenails over a fire ant's nest.
(WOW!! I am SO FULL OF BILE!! I really did not know I had this in me!! Veritably I say to ye - WOW!! I'm even shocking myself!)
And second of all - here is the litany of everything going on in my life. If you want to give me the stupid, offensive, whiney, "I don't have time" excuse - well, SUCK ON THIS!!!
(oooooooooh, so much BILE!! And by the way, since I am trying to be a spiritually advanced human being, I am venting here in my diary, rather than call this person up and SCREAM BLOODY FREKIN' MURDER at her!! I am going to try to calm down and speak rationally and maybe even be light hearted about it. because I am trying to be a spritually advanced human being. Uh huh.)
Here is my life right now:
1. I have lupus. I am having a flare up. I feel like death warmed over most of the time, and if I'm not feeling like death warmed over I'm probably having a seizure.
2. I am still trying to work at my art. I am still trying to produce and market and make something of a living, although it's going far more slowly than usual because of this dang flare up.
3. I have four cats (two special needs), six rabbits (one special needs) a monitor lizard, two tarantulas, and a husband. All of them need their mom. Except the husband. He needs dinner on the table when he comes home at night, and a few nicely ironed shirts.
4. I live in a cosmetically challenged house which I am trying desperately to get to a point where I am not totally mortified to have people come to. You know how long it takes to spread grout whitener over an entire ceramic tiled bathroom? It takes FREAKIN' HOURS!!!
5. We have an equally cosmetically challenged acre of land which we are spending large amounts of time trying to turn around, before our neighbors decide to lynch us. The previous owners treated certain parts as a garbage dump. Do you know how much time it takes to pull a box spring out of a pile of rail road ties? DO YOU?!!!!
6. I help Bruce with his endangered species surveys, because they bring us a decent amount of money and somebody has to hold the other end of the net. I also manage his teaching greenhouse, which has been sadly neglected since this lupus flare up. Our plants are sad and hate me.
7. This is not even mentioning all the rabbit group stuff I have on the back burner. Or the fact that I strongly suspect my dad is developing Alzheimer's disease, and my mother is in total denial. Or the fact that I smell funny because I never have time to do laundry anymore.
Yet - I am finding time!! I am finding time to do what this incredibly self-centered and yucky person "doesn't have time", no make that "doesn't have tiiiiiiiiiiime" to do!! When it has been her turn to do it for MONTHS!!!
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
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