3:28 p.m. - 2004-02-20
Let Out of the Asylum
WAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOO!! Today it was near 70 degrees out!! Sort of overcast, but fabulously warm!! Like a tulip bulb, I respond like mad to warmer temperatures.
So does my muse. She decided that today was an excellent time to return from her annual winter trip to Tahiti. Tanned and refreshed, did she want to go back to work? Noooooo. She wanted to go hang out and read art magazines!!
I couldn't say no. I've been very, very disciplined this week about working. After five days of being a good Art Bat I was developing the sort of maniacal frenzy of a mental patient in need of a day pass from the asylum. Even a simple trip to Barnes and Noble seemed like pure ecstasy.
I spend too much time alone. When you get excited about driving 2 miles down the road to a big box book store, the fact is that you simply don't get out enough.
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My eyes aren't getting out enough either. Most of my work this week has been with embroidery, and so my days are spent squinting at a six inch circle of cloth held a foot from my face. This does weird things to my eyes.
Like, I just can't see.
I realised how bad this is as I was driving down the street, and saw a brown object with maroon splotches.
"Oh no!!" I thought. "It's a dead brown cat!! A dead brown bloody cat!! Oh, the poor thing! Oh no!! Ooooooohhhhh Noooooo!!! Nooooo!!"
As I got closer, I realised it wasn't a cat. But what was it? It was....a teddy bear!! A dead, bloody Teddy Bear!! No, no, it wasn't!! It was....oh, dear, it was a....fox. A dead fox. A big dead bloody fox!! A big dead brown fox with lots of blood!! Oh noooooooo!!
Finally, when the car was right beside it, I realised what the object was.
It was a paper bag. A paper grocery bag with maroon lettering.
Ooooohhhh Nooooo!! A grocery bag!! A big dead brown grocery bag!!! With maroon lettering!! Ooohhhhh! Nooooo!!! As Bruce would say - Lived fast, died young!!
Think I need to wear my glasses?
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I got some magazines and went to Stargiveusyourbucks, and I had the weirdest experience!!
Really, this is bizarre. And I'm not making this up, it is really honestly true!!
I went up to the counter and ordered a cafe latte. The woman behind the counter had the cutest hair. It was all chestnut ringlets and she had some of it streaked blonde. It was adorably punk.
I thought to myself "Honey, you have the CUTEST DANG HAIR!!"
To my shock, she suddenly reached up and grabbed a ringlet and grinned at me and said "Thank you so much!! I really appreciate that 'cuz I didn't know if the streaks would just look weird!" And then, smiling, she went off to make my latte.
I SWEAR I did NOT say anything out loud!! And when I glanced at the woman in back of me in line, she was looking a little puzzled, too, as though trying to figure out what the woman behind the counter was responding to!
This has happened to me twice before, that I have had strong thoughts about saying something to someone, and they have responded as though I actually said something. The first time I was working at a gift store, and a woman was playing with a very delicate and expensive piece of jewelry. I found myself thinking something like "Put that down, you freakin' TWIT!!"
She out the bracelet down, looked up at me and said "Oh!! I'm so sorry! I know it's fragile!" and walked out!!
The second time I was sitting next to a friend who had just spent a small fortune on a baby crib that she didn't really want at all.
"So why the hey did you buy it?" I thought.
"Well, my mother-in-law insisted that we get it and she has started a huge college fund blah blah blah..." responded Cheryl, to something I never actually said.
Weird, huh? I swear I am not making these things up!!
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