12:34 p.m. - 2004-01-05
Cat decorating schemes
I watched a whole lot of Home and Garden TV over Christmas.
Bruce and I are the last people in America not to have cable. This is what happens when you are paying off a Ph.D.'s worth of student loans, folks. Certain staples of American life must be considered expendable, so that, someday, those student loans will actually be paid. Bear that in mind when you are pondering whether to get a Ph.D. in some obscure subject or simply become a stockgirl at ABC Liquors! I bet the stockgirl has cable!!
Ahem. Anyway, since we aren't able to watch the droolworthy HGTV at home, and since my Mom loves it, we all curled up on the sofa and overdosed on all those "We have huge amounts of money and we're gonna spend it on our big and ostentatious house" programs. My mother says it makes her feel poor, because my parents house is just an average, built in the sixties sort of house.
It doesn't make me feel poor. I gave up on attaining one of those big, fancy mansions long ago. I am happy with my cosmetically challenged, soon-to-be-an-art-house fifties rancher.
It does make me feel like the HGTV people are somewhat clueless as to what the average homeowner really wants to know about home decorating. For example, why don't they have a program devoted to home decorating for the animal lover? I can think of a zillion and two ideas for a show like this!! Hello!!!!
I thought of this while watching one of those makeover shows where a guy with two rambunctious cats had his living room made over by a chi chi designer. As more and more expensive and oh so clawable furniture got added, I found myself becoming more and more agitated. Never once did the designer take into account the downside of having cats.
"That furniture is DOOMED!!" I wailed to Bruce. "Those kitties will have it shredded in no time!!"
And then it struck me - there should be a whole show devoted to what fabrics cats are not inclined to claw at! Fabrics that you would actually think twice about putting on your sofa!! Or, how about how to incorporate those ratty, clawed up, overstuffed chairs into your decorating scheme?!!
Or - good uses for pet hair!!! I could easily have collected a bean bag chair load of fur from shedding animals by now!! But, besides composting, what to do with the stuff??!!
Or, hey!! Designer cat beds!!! Hell, a whole line of designer cat furniture!! Forget the beige carpeted monstrosities you find at the local pet store!! Surely there must be some way to make cat castles double as functional art pieces!!
Or - how about a trendy barnyard decorating scheme to incorporate all the hay the rabbits drag all over my studio floor!!
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