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4:52 p.m. - 2004-08-31
Bozo magnet and Graffiti
You'll be happy to know that graffiti is alive and well and far more creative than I remember it when I was at college.

Before my counseling appointment today I went to the library at UAH to look at art books. The desk I sat at was covered in scribbling. But not just "Andy-n-Kim 4 Ever!!".

Nope. How 'bout: "AK & CG -- Study Buddies 4 Ever!!"

Jeez. I can't ever remember being that attached to anyone I ever studied with. Maybe because I always seemed to wind up studying with people who tried to get me to help them cheat on tests.

Or: "Wear a Diaper!!! It's Exciting and Practical!!" I kid you not. This was really written on the desk!

Or, the ever hopeful: "USA and Canada: TRUE FRIENDSHIP!!"

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Have I ever talked about this strange phenomenon that I'm subject to where, quite frequently, I'll be shopping and another customer will come up to me and ask if I can help them find something.

It happens All. The. Time. I suspect it's because my dad owned a small grocery store which I worked in for years growing up. I must have the aura of someone who belongs in a store.

The unnerving, and infuriating, thing is that when I politely say "Actually, I don't work here" about half the time the person will say "Well, can you help me anyway?" What is this?!!

I had a weird variation on this today. I was in the reference section and a sort of ditsy youngster (when you hit 44 anyone below 30 is a youngster) came up to me.

She batted her eyelashes. "Can you help me find the Alabama Law Code?" she asked, smacking her gum.

"I'm sorry, I don't work here." I smiled and started to turn away.

"Well, can you help me anyway?" More eyelash batting. More gum smacking.

"I have no idea where to even begin. I really can't help you. There's a librarian over there. Why don't you ask him?"

She pouted! She actually pouted, and then launched into a long whine about how he had already helped her twice and she really wanted ME to help her because she didn't want to ask him again!

And I finally had to be a bit rude to her to get rid of her!

When I first met Bruce, he was amazed at how many weird people I attract. He nicknamed me "The Bozo Magnet" on account of my ability to...well... attract Bozos.

I'm unhappy to say that after 20 odd years. my Bozo magnet is still going strong.


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