5:35 p.m. - 2004-08-23
Tossing letters
I got into a state today. Just one of those states where life seems so boring, the only thing to do is get rid of your past, so you can go on to have a thoroughly exciting future.
So I threw out a bunch of old letters, from people I just don't want to be around anymore.
I have been thinking about doing this for months. I'm not sure why I was hanging on to them, maybe as a way of remembering who I was when I got those letters. Or maybe I wanted to remember the good times I had with these people, rather than what the relationships disintegrated into.
Or maybe it's an epileptic thing. People with Geschwind's Syndrome (like Van Gogh!) tend to hang on to their relationships long past when the average person would have just walked away. It's called "social stickiness", and it's one of the things that's most confusing for me about human relationships as a temporal lobe epileptic. I just don't know when it's appropriate to give up on somebody.
So today, I officially gave up on a few somebodies.
It felt great. I dumped all those old letters into the trash, and I feel free! It's amazing how liberating it is! I have this wonderful feeling of "ahhhh, now I can move on and focus on the present! And the exciting future! How lovely!"
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