1:36 p.m. - 2004-07-05
Fourth of July baseball
Bruce and I went to the baseball game Saturday night. It's becoming a yearly July 4th tradition.
There's nothing so American as baseball. Especially bush league baseball, in a small stadium, with beer and goofy games between the innings, and fireworks at the end. Yup, it's the perfect July 4th celebration.
Bruce and I sat in the general admission seats, which are basically just concrete terraces. It wasn't very crowded (baseball isn't so popular here in the South) and we settled in to stretch our legs out and get comfy.
Just in time to get up again for the Star Spangled Banner. As it was announced, a local Little League team took the bases along with the Huntspatch Stars. The National Anthem was sung by a woman with a very "country singer" type voice, who could actually hit all the notes. At the "rockets red glare" a set of fireworks went off, and I couldn't help it. I teared up.
I do love this country, or parts of it anyway. I think the government is an ungodly disgrace, but the country itself? Well, it has its wonderful parts, too. Honest, it does!!
Besides, my 7th great grandfather was a Minuteman at Lexington Alarm. You have to forgive some gooshiness.
During the anthem an armored car was driving around the perimeter of the stadium. The hyperventilating announcer clued us in that the car held "Tonights Veeeeeeeery Special Guests!!!" who happened to be a Brigadier General in charge of...oh I don't know.....
toothbrushing, or something, and an army private "who has just finished baaaaaasic training!! As well as individualised special training!!! And he's off to Iraq next week!!! Let's give this boy a biiiiiig haaaand!!!"
I wondered what the individualised training had been for. I hope it was for something useful like how to convince the Iraqis that they don't really want to kill you, and all your Yankee dog friends, too.
I felt so sorry for the poor kid. They were making such a big deal out of him, and I wanted so badly to kidnap him and send him back to his mom. Sigh.
Well, the Star Spangled Banner was sung, and the special guests saluted, so it's time to play ball!! As usual with these games, it's not the baseball that's the real attraction. It's all the peripheral wah wah. The announcer with his continual chatter along the lines of "Brice! Your mother is looking for you!! Report to the souvenir stand immediately! You're grounded!" and "Look on page 42 of your program!! If Homer the Mascot Skunk has autographed that page, you've won a year's supply of hotdogs from Kroger!"
There's also the in between inning games, like the Dizzy Bat Race, where contestants have to run, grab a bat, twirl around and around with it until they are falling over with the spins, and then somehow make it back to the first base. the winner got a $25 gift certificate for bread and probably headed straight off to the bathroom to throw up.
My favorite goofiness is new this year. They have advertisements now in the stalls of the women's bathroom. I guess it's a courtesy, so you have something to read while you're relieving yourself. My favorite ad was for a hedge clipping service and stated that "If you mention this ad, you'll get a free gutter cleaning!"
I can just imagine calling them up. "Hey, I saw your ad in the john at the ball park while I was taking a pee!! Can I get my free gutter cleaning?!"
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