4:19 p.m. - 2003-12-08
Dreamtime
Ok, so when I haven't been thinking about hair grabbers today, I've been thinking about a dream I had a couple of nights ago that I can't get out of my mind.
Warning: this entry has the potential to be sappy.
I dreamed that I was somehow reviewing my life with some other folks, or maybe they were guardian angels or the happier equivalents of St. Peter at the Gate. I'm not sure. Whoever they were, they were especially concerned with my seeming lack of really close friends in my life.
I was trying to reassure them that I do have close friends, they are just far away right now. But I don't think of them as drifting apart from me, I still think of us as a little tribe. A little group of people who are somehow closely connected no matter what distances lie between us.
The group of evaluators were unimpressed. They felt I should be more open and shouldn't be so reliant on my friends whom I have known for years and years. I should be less of a hermit. I should go and be more social.
In the dream, I started to feel confused. I realised how much I missed being in that young and trusting state where it is somehow easier to make friends. The state where you can tell instantly if someone is going to take you for a ride, or be your best friend for life. I just don't have that instantaneous ability to size people up anymore.
And I also feel the constraints of adulthood. How often do I get asked to walk to the 24 hour supermarket at 3 am to buy M & M's with my next door neighbor these days? How often do I stop another punky looking person on the street to ask them where they got their steel toed boots? The world has gotten more tightly wound, more scripted, and people are just not that loose about opening up to strangers.
I miss all that openness. It made it much easier to be a hermit and still have friends.
When I woke up I felt sad and sort of lost. I'm not really sure what to make of it, but I can't seem to get this dream out of my head. Especially because I do believe that certain dreams have a spark of reality to them, that they could actually be happening in an alternate reality that we travel to in Dreamtime.
*******************************
It's been another day when I got nothing done. I have been really suffering from arthritis and it's very hard not to just stay in bed all day, in that alternate Dreamtime universe. I got somewhat inspired this weekend by going to the Habitat For Humanity recycled-stuff-we-got-from-all-over-the-place store. It's called the ReStore, and they have amazing stacks of....everything. Old molding, the most beautiful old windows, sinks and toilets in all colours of the rainbow. This time they had an entire huge room full of ceramic floor tile, for 50 cents a square foot.
It was fabulous floor tile, too, that you would actually be happy to put on your floor! There wasn't a whole lot of each kind, but strangely Bruce warmed up to the idea of a mix and match floor. We decided on dark earth tones. It will fit in with the general woodsiness of the house.
We didn't have time to pick out all the tiles we needed so we'll go back when they open again on Wednesday. I'll have to restrain myself from snagging all the groovy antique windows and screen doors. Not to mention the blue 60's sink with little white flowers all over it.
0 comments
