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6:19 p.m. - 2003-11-03
Smoking Chocolate
Ok, so here's the story with the deaf cat:

I just brought Zesto home from the vet. It turns out he was rattling my cage, yanking my chain, and generally messing with my head.

He did not, in fact, have a urinary blockage. He, evidently, just didn't feel like peeing.

However, while he was at the cat spa which is our veterinarians office, it was decided that perhaps they should get a urine sample anyway. The analysis showed some blood, crystals and possibly still some infection, so Zesto is going back tomorrow to have an ultrasound. Based on the results of that he may or may not have his sex change, uh, I mean his penis enhancement, uh, I mean the operation to make sure he never gets a blockage to the tune of a gazillion dollars not to mention the insane and frantic worry I would go through ever again.

So he's now home, in a cranky mood. Maybe they'll give him those fabulous muscle relaxant cat Extasy pills again.

**************************************

Speaking of mind altering substances, I did something this weekend that I haven't done for years, literally. I ingested some mind altering substances.

In case any law enforcement people are reading this, that could possibly mean chocolate!! Probably not, but you'll never get me to admit it!! Yeah, that's right, I smoked some chocolate!! Doesn't everybody smoke chocolate?

Ahem. Ok. So anyway, I was at a friends house (notice how I am so stupidly paranoid I'm not naming names!! Is this not crazy?!! And Alabama only has about three State Police - like they are really going to have time to come arrest me for pot smoking, uh, I mean chocolate smoking! And not only that but Marijuana is Alabama's biggest cash crop! SO there are thirty thousand other dope addled people out there for them to worry about!!

AHEM!! Ok, so I'm at a friend's house and she's playing this great and interesting and sometimes truly bizarre music. Ok, another admission of guilt, we were actually burning CD's of some of her vast music collection as a trade for one of my dolls.

Yeah, I know this is undoubtedly an infringement on copyright. Oh dear, I am just getting further and further into those deep weeds, am I not? Anyway, she pulled out some illicit mind altering substances and I decided, despite my seizure problem and the fact that said substances make me fall dead asleep, that it would be a fabulous idea if I had a good big puff.

You know, I highly recommend Alabama's biggest cash crop. 'Cuz if it's all like this, you wouldn't be disappointed.

Completely disfunctional perhaps, but not disappointed.

At one point I had to hang on to her bookcase to keep from falling over. I thought I was having a heart attack and then realised that I had simply forgotten to breath. From then on it just got more and more stupid as I realised I couldn't form simple sentences without using the words "thingey" and "like, you know".

It went on all night, too. We left around seven to go to the Day of the Dead celebration at the gallery, and I realised I just couldn't talk to anyone. At one point Wendy asked me twice if I would like some "nice Coke with ice" and Bruce had to answer for me because I was staring off with a blank look on my face. Then I seem to remember some mountain man type trying to explain Buddhism to me in a kind of obnoxious and condescending way. Horrifyingly, I don't remember what my response to this was.

Some of us just shouldn't go around smoking chocolate.


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