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7:27 p.m. - 2003-05-19
Three Questions
Ok! So I just got a note from Tater with a twist on the telemarketer-nixing tip!! Click on the Sign My Guestbook box and read her little note!

Why do I have such a thing about telemarketers?

Because I work at home and I am sooooo tired of having my work interrupted by the ringing telephone with some nattering ninny selling some butt-shakingly awful something or other. Not to mention the fact that I used to work in an emergency room, and a phone that rings with no one on the other end is a sure sign that someone is in deep trouble and can't get the words out.

So I'm especially bothered by the "no one there" calls. All I can think is that it's my parents or a friend, struggling to tell me that I need to send an ambulance.

Of course, why I think my parents would be calling me here in Alabama when they could just as easily call my sisters, who live only 20 minutes away and could actually do something, makes no sense at all.

I'm not too disaster oriented, am I? No really? Am I?

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So now, because I am bored, I have asked Bruce to ask me three random questions:

Bruce: How many chairs have you owned in your life?

Me: Ok, let's see. Jesus. God, Bruce. Jeez. Hmm. Oh let's say...do chairs from co-op houses count? Or do I only own like, one fifth or one-tenth or however many people were living in the house?

B: Oh, go for the whole chair.

Me: Ok. Ummmmmmmmm (counting on fingers) What about whole dining room sets? I think Gregg owned all the chairs at 20 Ashford Street. Can I have another question?

B: Ok. What's your favorite tree?

Me: Hmmm. A specific tree, or just a kind of tree?

B: Your favorite kind.

Me: Well, I like the Chinese chestnut. And it's useful, since you can eat the nuts. It has a nice shape. But the fig tree is really cool, too. And it attracts groundhogs! But I think it's the white birch. I think that's my favorite tree. It remeinds me of New England.

(A side note: there are no white birches in Alabama. It's too hot for them. I really miss them.)

B: If you were a sheet of paper, what kind of paper would it be?

Me: This is so hard, because I have such a paper fetish. Oooooog. I think I would be the India handmade watercolour paper that New York Central Art Supply sells. It's very sturdy and it has an interesting colour, and it's cheap and you can do lots of things with it. I think that kind of describes me. Except I'm kind of a boring colour. And I guess I'm not very cheap, either.

Or maybe I'd be some really garish blockprinted India paper. That would be fun, and people could use me to wrap presents.


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