Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

4:53 p.m. - 2003-02-14
Telemarketers
The phone rang bright and early this morning.

Bright and early meaning 10:30 a.m. Uh, I haven't been feeling good, remember?

I made the mistake of answering, something I almost never do. There's a bright, chirpy voice on the other end.

"Is this Miss Feeder Mouse?!" the voice enquires.

I hate being called "Miss Feeder Mouse", especially by someone obviously trying to sell me a new phone service or a credit card or some snake oil perhaps. The "Feeder Mouse" part isn't so bad, but the "Miss" really bothers me.

"Do you perhaps mean MS. F.?" My voice is testy.

"Why yes! I'm calling from AT & T! And we have noticed.."

I am in no mood for anyone noticing anything. "Is this a sales call?" I demand.

"Why, not really! We just want to tell you about our new service which will help you blahdy blib dooperest wah wah wah...."

She's lying! It IS a sales call! I can feel my latent Tourette's syndrome rising to the surface. Damn, there must be a way to channel all those viscious, insulting things I long to say into something that will truly benefit all of mankind!

I cut her off. "Excuse me, Miss!" Let's see how she likes being called Miss!! "Did you know that George W. Bush is about to drag us into a catastrophic war over oil?"

"Whuh? I'm sorry? Whuh?" She is flummoxed. I have interrupted the pre-recorded tape that is playing in her brain.

"A war for oil, Missy!! That's what we're about to have! Are you one of those obnoxious people who has one a' them big ass SUV's?? 'Cuz if you are, you oughtta' rethink your style of living!!" Wackily, what little Southern accent I have acquired has suddenly blossomed into a full blown Daisy-Mae-Eat-Me-I'm-A-Georgia-Peach level.

"Miss, I am sorry, I just want to tell you about AT & T's new plan..."

"No! You don't wanna' tell me about anything!" Yeah, I'm sick and I'm losing it with the At & T lady. "You wanna' quit your job callin' an' botherin' nice folks like me who are trying to make some art and save the world!! Yeah, quit that job and go buy yourself some duct tape!!"

She hung up. Tell me this illness isn't starting to affect my brain.

Good Lord, I'm showing my nasty side on Diaryland.

*************************************

It's Valentine's Day! One of the lovely things about having been with the same lovely man for 18 years is that Valentine's day becomes a totally no pressure thing. In fact, Bruce and I are postponing it until tomorrow, when we are going to go buy fruit trees. That is, if I can drag myself out of bed.


0 comments

 

 

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!